Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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