I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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