So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
