Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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