My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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