Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
