I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
