look no pants
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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