I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
