i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
