the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
