I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
