It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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