One girl and one boy is just not enough.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
