Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
