I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
