now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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