No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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