Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
