I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
