don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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