How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
