Screwed.edu
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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