A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize