last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
