It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
