I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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