Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
