Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize