elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
