At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
