after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
