i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
