So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Soap is not a condiment
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
