Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
