that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
