I just threw up on my dentist
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
