...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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