so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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