Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize