we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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