well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
