he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
