Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
