Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
