The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
