Where is the hickey?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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