you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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