I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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