tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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