Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
