The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize