Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
