I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
