spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
