First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
