Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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