we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
