So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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