haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
