Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
