Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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