Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
