does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize