i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
