Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize