So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
