Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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