I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
