she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
