I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
