I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
