Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
