no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
