This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
