I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
