I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize