how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
