Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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