Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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