HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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