maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
