Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
