Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
