Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize