did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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